


Laverna Rising

by papyrocrat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark, F/F, Hell, Trauma, becoming a demon, not kidding about the dark, seriously very dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papyrocrat/pseuds/papyrocrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bela becoming a demon</p>
            </blockquote>





	Laverna Rising

**Author's Note:**

> For the Bela/Lilith square on my [spnpairingbingo](http://spnpairingbingo.livejournal.com) card

Lilith leans over her, eyes glowing white in the deep gray pit. “I thought you’d like to see me, Bela.”

“You tricked me. You bitch.”

Lilith shakes her head sadly. “I think you know that’s not true, Abigail.”

“Bela.”

“If you wish.”

Bela doesn’t answer.

"That's what we want down here, Bela. For you to be your true self. Stripped of the weakness and need of humanity, inured to fear and guilt and want. These are the things that hold humans back. And you, sweet girl, you have forever to unlearn them, and then an eternity after that to enjoy it."

Eternity. Forever. Here. _Never never always never_. The last gasp of rage rushes out of her.

"So long, you poor child. So long since you let it out. Not for ten years. I came to you and dried your tears."

It's true. She hadn't cried since her deal, not since the last time her father touched her.

Until today.

“I don't crawl up to that frigid backwater planet and make deals with just anyone, you know. I chose you. I saved you, Bela. I delivered you from your father and brought you to mine.”

“Your father?”

“Lucifer.”

Atavistic fear rips into her. Lucifer Satan evil _father father father_. “The devil’s not real.”

“No, of course not. You humans are your own worst monsters. But the Morning Star is real.”

Bela’s face twists in confusion, or a desperate attempt to stall.

Lilith gives what passes for a gentle smile in the pit. “Well, what do you think keeps the lights on around here?”

That’s when Bela realizes her skin is melting off her legs.

 

 

 

 

 

+

 

 

 _Am I dreaming?_ she asks Lilith once.

_Does it feel like a dream?_

_Yes._ (Everything does, down here.) _Maybe._

_Our dreams are a reflection of ourselves, Bela. You are changing._

She is.

 

 

 

 

  
*

 

 

“It's take-your-daughter to work day, my dear, would you like to come?”

"Yes, please,” she begs, and Lilith indulges her.

Lilith explains her task. "Alastair is mine, like you are mine. But he seems to be growing weary in his old age. Perhaps you can start the initiation process with this one."

"This one" is a twisting mess, spitting blood and invectives at everything in sight. He's indistinguishable from everyone else down here, really, until he turns to glare at her and she sees that his eyes are still a bright, precious green.

She takes a moment to refuse to care whether he recognizes her.

(Of course he does.)

She hesitates.

“It’s him or you,” Lilith tells her, as deadly as gold.

Bela understands that.

“What was that you said, Dean? You’d see me in hell?”

“Fuck you, bitch.”

“Looks to me like you’re the bitch.”

It isn't fun, it's just a break.

 

*

"Do humans give each other a choice?"

In theory, maybe.

She shakes her head no.

"Does that sound right to you?"

Bela shakes her head. Abby has always known that answer.

"Why are you here?"

"I chose, Lilith."

Lilith nods.

"Did I choose wrongly? Did I fail you?" Bela no longer cries with fear; her anguish leaks out of her red as blood.

"All that is wrong now is your fear. I only care that you did choose."

Bela nods.

"There’s going to be a war, Bela. They don’t know they have a choice. Can you do that? Can you give them a choice?"

"If we give them the choice, they will see the light."

"Like us?"

Lilith smiles. " _Almost_ like us."

 

 

 

 

*

 

Lilith abandons her for days - no, years - or maybe just heartbeats on end.

With Lilith gone, Bela thinks about choices.

With Lilith gone, Bela has no choices. She waits.

Lilith can inflict pain, but she much prefers to let the humans destroy themselves. After all, she gives ten whole years, ten years to dread and regret and what-if themselves into the waiting jaws of the hellhounds.

There is nothing to do down here, nothing but feel pain and cause pain, and usually both at once, ripping your own old wounds open if you swing a blade too hard.

(Not that different from upstairs, really.)

 

 

+

  
  
She did it wrong, she did something wrong, and she’s back on the table resisting the urge to fight.

Two of them at once walk over to her. But they're with Lilith, and so she almost doesn't recoil when Alastair leansover her.

"I'd like you to meet someone...."

Panic is worthless on the rack, and so she can figure out - she doesn't quite know how - she knows the spirit behind him. Dean? she asks incredulously.

"But you've got to be patient with him, honey. He's a virgin."

"Dean, please." There are many sins in the pit; pride was never hers. (She doesn't really remember what hers was. That matters less, now.)

"Don't."

This is revenge, or punishment, or something that's theirs. Something that means nothing, any more.

A thing without value. She fears that more than pain.

He doesn't speak. His jaw clenches but his hand stays sure. Draws back the razor and swings hard.

And again.

And again.

Lilith is looking down at Bela when she says "it has begun."

Bela doesn't know what's begun, but Lilith smiles, so Bela smiles too.

 

 

 

 

+

 

Sliding out of the pit is like swimming through lotion, dense and cool.

Lilith waits for her in a fresh-faced teenage girl, a pretty babysitter snoozing next to them. Sliding into her too, is fresh and cool. This other woman's skin is more comfortable than Abby's own was, so long ago.

Lilith allows her a moment to savor, to indulge.

“You must know how important it is that you be able to bring them in.”

“I do.”

“This would usually take longer,” Lilith tells her, “but you are ready.”

As a human, Bela had no use for pride. Now that she's back on earth, she finds that it's worth something after all, and so she guards the moment tight.

Lilith reaches up with hands as small and damp as Abby's, so very long ago, and pulls Bela down to kiss her meatsuit's cheek. “You are my last one, Bela.”

Lilith gave her an end, and Bela has given her an eternity.

It's a fair trade.


End file.
